Are you a parent who is having a tough time inculcating a sense of discipline in your child? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Parents tend to face a number of challenges in this area. In fact, many parents raise their voices in an effort to make their kids listen to them. However, this only makes things worse and causes more behavioral problems. In this article, we will tell you how to get kids to listen without yelling.
We will also show you how easy it is to talk to children. You can only get them to listen if you understand more about how their mind works.
How To Get Kids To Listen Without Yelling?
Here are a few simple tricks on how to get kids to listen:
1. Set Ground Rules
The first thing that you need to do as a parent is to lay down the ground rules that always need to be followed at home. This will set the foundation. For example, simple rules like making the bed in the mornings, washing hands before eating, and restricted screen time should be well-explained to kids.
Once kids know that they must follow these guidelines, the chances of you raising your voice for minor discipline issues are likely to come down. You can also make a list of these house rules on a paper and paste it into your child’s room or on the fridge. Also, make the consequences clear.
2. Try Positive Motivational Strategies
Punishment, yelling, and screaming will get you nowhere. In fact, it will make you feel more stressed out as a parent. Here is how to get your kids to listen to you without going for a screaming match – motivation. For example, show your child the benefits of being disciplined or going to bed on time.
If your child has followed all the rules, appreciate him/her. Tell them, “It is wonderful to see you do all your chores and your homework.” If possible, praise the child in front of friends or other members of the family. You can also reward your child for good behavior by taking them out, offering an ice-cream treat, etc.
3. Understand That They Are Kids, After All
When it comes to children, you have to learn to be patient. Losing your temper with them is not a good idea. Venting your frustration on your child will also be a negative example. Understand that no matter how hard you try, children will be children, and they will make mistakes.
It is the inherent nature of a child to be mischievous and naughty. Give them some time to learn new ways and develop good habits. Do not be too hard on them as that will also make them rebel more.
4. Set The Path For A Gradual Transition
No change can happen overnight. The transition will only occur over a period. So, do not scream at your child if he/she throws a tantrum or misbehaves in public. Remember, children tend to be attention-seeking. This is why they tend to do a lot of naughty things when they are on an outing, in school or at a friend’s/relative’s house.
So, sit down with your child and explain things one on one. If the child continues with the same behavior, give a warning, then explain the consequences. If the child repeats the same mistake for the second time, do not yell! Sit down and talk to your child instead and tell the child why a specific rule had to be followed.
5. Give Them Reasons
Have you ever noticed that children always want reasons for everything? Children are inquisitive by nature and want to know the reasons for everything they do. The same applies to good behavior. Tell your child why it is essential to sit down on the table and have a meal instead of eating in front of the TV. Tell him/her why eating in front of the TV is unhealthy.
6. Let Them Face The Consequences
Do not shout at your child for not completing their homework. Instead, let the child go to school and face punishment at school. If your child forgets to take the lunchbox to school, do not run to the school and deliver the box. Let your child face the repercussions of his/her actions.
This way, chances are that the same mistake will not be repeated. However, it is also important to remember that any violent punishment should not be encouraged. Raising your hand on children is not right under any circumstance.
7. Don’t Yell
Most parents feel like their children do not listen to them or cooperate unless they yell. And, when being nice and patient does not work, parents are often forced to resort to this type of behavior. However, yelling too will eventually stop working. This is because a child’s mind is programmed to ‘tune out’ when a parent yells. So, you can yell all you want, but your child is not even listening.
8. Understand Why You Are Yelling
Apart from all other factors, learn to look within yourself and understand why you are screaming. Are you worried about something else or bringing tensions from other areas of your life, like work, into the house? It is very likely that you may be stressed at work and when you come home, even the slightest thing that your child does will annoy you.
9. Try Fun Strategies
Instead of the tried and tested strategies, adopt some fun ways of doing things. You can write an attractive note or pretend to be your child’s favorite cartoon character. For example, if your child really looks up to a specific cartoon character, dress up in the role and explain to your child what good behavior is and why you (as the cartoon character) advise the child to follow the same. This way, it will become easier for the child to understand and there is a higher chance that the child will adopt good behavior.
10. No Single Formula
There is no magic formula for parenting. The key is to understand the needs of your child and come up with a suitable strategy. There can be different parenting styles. Some kids listen easily, while other kids may have behavioral problems. Identify which category your child falls into, and device a parenting method accordingly.
11. Listen To What Your Child Has To Say
Often, parents never give the child an opportunity to voice an opinion. Children have to be heard, and it is important to encourage them to speak. This will help them understand how important it is to actually listen to someone when they speak.
For instance, even if your child is telling you what happened at school or how he felt about something, don’t brush it aside or ignore your child. Remember, your child will learn from you. So, you first listen and set a good example.
12. Understand Your Child’s Emotions
It is very important to empathize and look at things from the child’s perspective. Acknowledge the fact that kids have feelings too, and you constantly nagging and shouting at them will hurt those feelings. If they are upset, how can you expect them to behave normally? Will they throw tantrums? Of course! It is only a child’s way of expressing emotions.
13. Give Lessons On Life
Instead of yelling and punishing kids, get them to listen by giving them lessons on life. Tell them that if they do not brush their teeth, they will be more prone to cavities. Show them examples or take them to a doctor that explains this to them in a friendly manner.
14. Do Not Give Lavish Gifts
Are you bribing your child with expensive gifts in exchange for good behavior? This is the worst thing that any parent can do. While it is important to offer incentives, showering them with gifts will make things only more problematic. For example, if your child refuses to eat his vegetables, give a star a day for eating his meal. He can then use those stars or redeem it for rewards like playing with friends, going to the park or even inviting another friend from school home for a meal.
15. Give Freedom
Do not at any point in time dictate the choices that your child makes. From the beginning, teach your child how to make the right choices. For instance, you can ask your child to choose between two types of cereal for breakfast. One can be a healthy option, and the other can be an unhealthy one. Explain the pros and cons of each cereal variety and see which one your kid chooses.
16. Let Kids Make Mistakes
Always allow your child to make mistakes! They will soon learn from the errors that they make. For example, allow your child to take the responsibility to pack his/her own school bag. Even if they forget an item, it’s okay. After realizing they missed an important item, they will be more careful. Then, you can teach your child how to make a checklist and go by it every time important things are packed. After all, its only human to err.
17. Find Role Models
Teach your child how to behave well by giving real-life examples from the people around. Tell him/her how well-behaved her sibling or friend is. Give them the chance to be around good role models and you yourself should be the first and most important role model in your child’s life. After all, nothing like a real-life example.
18. Develop A Bond
Of all the things in life, having a strong and healthy relationship with your child is the most important. If a strong bond has been developed, it is much easier to make children listen to what you are saying and in such cases, there will be no need to actually yell at all. So, make sure you first have that healthy relationship with your little one.
19. Teach Them The Importance of Listening
You have to teach your child why it is crucial to respect others by listening to them. Explain why it is important to listen to parents and teachers and how it will help them develop into well-rounded individuals in the long run. Inculcate this practice as early as possible.
20. Do Not Give Multiple Warnings
When parents give out multiple warnings but never act on them, they won’t correct their child’s behavior. Give one final warning. This way, the child will start taking things more seriously. They will also listen in a much better fashion.
At the end of the day, parenting is all about trial and error. There is no right and wrong way. Do not feel the pressure to be perfect in every little thing that you do. As a parent, especially as a new one, it is okay to make mistakes. So, do not be too hard on yourself.
All parents face some problem or the other…It becomes tough to make amends in the child’s behavior in the long run. This is why it is vital to start as early as possible so that things are put in perspective in a slow, yet gradual and steady pace. Start off soon!
You cannot make your teenager listen to you overnight unless you have taught him/her how to listen from a very young age. That is why it is important to discipline kids from the early stages. Take it easy, and enjoy every minute of being a parent — children grow up really fast! 🙂